Latest Funny Jokes 2017

 

                            Latest Funny Jokes 2017

 

"VALENTINE'S DAY TOH BACHCHE MANATE HAI, APNI    WALT TOH SIDHE KARWA CHAUTH MANAYEGI"

AISA STATUS RAKHNE WALE LONDE INTERNET PE "HOW TO IMPRESS A GIRL" SEARCH KARTE HAI.!

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लड़का अपनी girlfriend
को लेकर पिज़्ज़ा हट में गया।
लड़का : क्या लोगी?
Girlfriend :खिचडी मंगवा लो।
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वेटर हँसते हुए बोला,
"सरकारी स्कूल की लड़कियां पटाओगे
तो ऐसा ही होगा।"
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine.

Officer: You were speeding.
Man: No, I wasn't.
Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.
Man: But I wasn't speeding.
Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)
Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk?
Officer: Yes, you would.
Man: What if I just thought that you were?
Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.
Man: Fine, I think you're a jerk!

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Teacher: "Anyone who thinks he's stupid may stand up!"
*Nobody stands up*
Teacher: "Im sure there are some stupid students over here!!"
*Little Johnny stands up*
Teacher: "Ohh, Johnny you think you're stupid?"
Little Johnny: "No... i just feel bad that you're standing alone..."

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A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says “Hey! what are you doing?” The monkey says “Smoking a joint, come up and join me"
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is ‘dry’, and that he’s going to get a drink from the river.
At the riverbank, the lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls in. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the stoned lizard, helping him to the side.
He then asks the lizard, “What’s the matter with you?!” The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with the monkey and his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in!
The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint.
He looks up and says “Hey, MONKEY!”
The Monkey looks down and says “FUUUUUCK, DUDE……. How much water did you drink ?